PRE MARITAL DOMESTIC ABUSE

Dear Reader,

I recently did a post on domestic violence (please check archives) I mentioned at the bottom of the post that I would really like to write an article on pre-marital domestic violence in the Asian/Muslim community.

This is an extremely touchy subject not often talked about. When we talk about domestic violence in our community we normally refer to it within a marriage setting. Relationships pre-marriage are considered taboo within the Asian/Muslim community so to talk about Domestic violence within this setting is seen as even more taboo.
Many girls in this situation are unable to speak out for fear of the relationship coming to light to family members and the wider community.
Statistics in this area are very difficult to come by as many women do not come forward to talk about this situation.

So writing this article and highlighting this issue is a little difficult. What I am asking today is if there are any women who would like to speak to me about their experience and provide me with further information on the situation and the affect it has. Obviously anonymity will be ensured and no personal details such as names etc will not be given in the article. I am just looking for a few women to provide me with case studies to base the article on.

If you have suffered in a pre martial relationship and would like to help me to highlight this issue please get in touch via email on:

duniyaphotography@yahoo.co.uk

again I stress complete discretion on my part.

Thank you again my lovely readers for taking out the time to assist me on this important matter

HIJAB PART 6 RAHIMA

Salaam and hello ladies and gentlemen, 

we have reached that point again, time for another installation of the "Hijab" project. Part 6 is a young lady that I heard of many times before we had the pleasure of actually meeting. She truely is an ispirational sister. Rahima not only works full time and runs a charity,but still manages to find time to be one of the most creative and beautifully quirky people that I have had the pleasure of meeting. Usually I write an intro to my Hijabi's however I loved Rahima's introduction to herself so much I am going to leave it as it is. So please enjoy and feel free to comment below the post.

My name is Rahima Begum. I'm a 27 year old living and working in London. I completed a Masters in Postcolonial History & Literature and then went onto work in research and enterprise at a University in London. That's the day job and pays for the bread and butter on my table, by the evening (and pretty much in between everything I do) I'm the director of an international human rights organisation and British Charity called RestlessBeings, and by night, which is usually very late as I'm a bit of an insomniac night owl, I illustrate, write short stories, knit and get crafty, lol. 

Friends and family often refer to me as the mother hen, workaholic & life juggler. I on the other hand, describe myself as just a magpie for all things creative. I have two passions in my life, one is art and the other is fighting for tangible positive changes for marginalised communities across the world. RestlessBeings allows me, with the aid of an amazing co-director and team, to bring these two passions together. An organisation that couples creativity with charity and makes the making of humanitarian changes an accessible and sustainable concept for likeminded people. For me, its the pulse of everything I stand for.   

My plans for the future are simple, but in numbers, lol: to develop RestlessBeings so we can become an organisation that acts as an alternative newsagency which covers all human rights abuses, an organisation which can help as many marginalised and neglected communities across the world by echoing their calls for change and demanding a difference for these communities. Other hopes are; to eventually finish writing all the short stories I started and compile them into a book and take all the doodles I have on the edges of every notebook in my belonging, and transfer them onto canvases which I can distribute amongst my loved ones, so when I have left this world, they have something beautifully crafted to remember me by (if they so wish to do so, lol). Thats it... I think... I'm sure the list would have grown by another ten more aspirations by next week, I am a magpie after all for shiny words/art/and more. ..  :)

What made you decide to wear the hijab?

I had toyed with the idea of wearing a hijab for a very long time and eventually started wearing it at university.  This was because I wanted to fulfil my obligation towards my creator (after all it is only fabric on my hair as an act of devotion,) it was hardly rocket science it wasn't a very difficult decision to make, however, ultimately, I was very keen to communicate my religious beliefs on an aesthetic level. As much as love my hair and how I could experiment with it, wearing a hijab for me did not feel an imposition. In fact, and I am sure many women and men who sport religious items of clothing on a daily basis will say, it liberates and raises the bar on how you carry yourself and want to be perceived. I guess a culmination of all this made me wear it and keep it... and here I am, many years on and its still going strong :)

How does wearing a hijab make you feel?

Wearing a hijab feels no different to carrying a bag... its an item of clothing, and thus a necessary part of me to allow me to fulfill a function. But if I really stop to think about it deeply, I guess it brings me an inner sense of peace and contentment. I am instantly perceived as a Muslim woman, and that perception encourages me to carry myself as best as I can to reflect the religious values and also maintain a certain dignified demeanour (I try, its not always easy as I do behave like a 7 year old at the best of times, lol). I love wearing it, it enhances my identity as a muslim woman and for me, there is no better reason to wear it. 

What have been the Positives and Negatives about wearing hijab?

There are many positives, but the key ones for me is that it is a constant reminder of what I believe in on a spiritual level and how my actions can contradict this aesthetic approach I have chosen for my self, thus pushing me to improve myself. This is a huge appeal. Aside from that, the feeling of instant recognition as a Muslim woman because I am wearing a fabric which holds so many layers of symbolism, is a great appeal. Another key positive, is the beauty of experimentation. I get bored easily and am constantly experimenting with new ways to dress modestly but fashionably. With so many beautiful hijabs now widely available, its definitely a positive to be able to not only adhere to a spiritual element in my life, but also to be able to do it with a  degree of fun and style.. this is definitely a bonus! 

Luckily negatives are in the very few and far between. Aside from constantly being asked by people whether I am hot in summer, or do I not miss the wind in my hair followed by the odd stare etc, I have not had to experience too much difficulty. I am blessed to be surrounded by open minded people who understand that the hijab, although heavily loaded with political, religious and historical symbolism, is just a piece of fabric which allows one to adhere to one of the many facets of their chosen path of spirituality. And if punks pierce their tongues and layer the leather, and bows and wide eyed kittens are the heart of kawaii culture in Japan - all in the attempt to communicate identity and lifestyle, then the hijab is another tool to convey the identity of a Muslim woman, a tool with many purposes but ultimately, powerful, protective and most pious.