When saying goodbye is so hard.

One of the hardest things about teaching English in another country is how temporary everything seems to be. For me the decision to come to Istanbul was a permeant one, before coming here I had decided that I wanted to stay and try to create a new life here, however for many teachers it is either a gap year or part of their travels around the world.

So you have to keep it in your mind that you will get close to people and form a bond and that before you know it you have to say good bye. It hurts but it is one of the realities that you have to get used to. So today was one of those days.

In my last post I talked about my girl Brittany's birthday. Brittany I would say was defiantly a good friend, more like a little sister. I felt so protective over her and working and living together meant that we got pretty close. I always knew that Brit was only staying for 6 months and was leaving in July, however last week things changed. She told me her Father was ill and needed to have a serious operation and that she felt that she needed to go back to the States to be with him. Of course this is completely understandable but it still didn't change thefdact that it was so sudden.

For the next few days it didn't feel real and it only hit home this morning when I had to say goodbye, at the apartment door I gave her a massive hug and felt my eyes well up with tears, knowing I had to teach in a few minutes I tried to hold back the tears and be strong, however as I hugged her goodbye she thanked me for my friendship and began to cry, that was it next thing you know I am crying, I have never been good at goodbyes and this one was pretty emotional for me, I didn't realise until this point how much love I had for her. Walking out of the flat was so hard and hearing her crying as I walked away broke my heart.

Walking into class today was so hard, I didn't want to teach I felt so crappy but I had to pull myself together and get on with it, there is no time for personal emotions when teaching, however my students could see that I wasn't my normal bubbly self and I had to explain why I was so withdrawn, bless them they were so sweet about it. Coming home after class was hard, to see her bed empty and to read the message that she had written to me, made me cry all over again. I have to admit even as I write this I have tears rolling down my face. However I know that we have a friendship that spans land and sea and that she will be back to visit Inshallah one day.

I hope and pray for her that her father recovers and she is happy and successful in everything she does in life. I know that she would want me to be happy and not cry so, I will wipe back these tears and put on a happy face and get on with things. I just have to learn to accept that this is the world of the TEFL teacher, nothing is forever.

Well dear readers I have to admit writing always makes me feel better, as if I am purging my soul and releasing the emotions that I feel inside. I just hope my next post is not tinged with such sadness, I am sure I will be writing about something much happier as really I hate to be sad it is just not in my nature. So good night and we will speak again real soon xxx

Never take a Turk to eat Thai food

So saturday was my girl's Birthday over here in Istanbul. Brittany is from the States and is living with me in the apartment that the school has given us for three months. Now we ummmmed and ahhhed over what to do for her birthday and settled on a Thai restaurant in Taksim. Cok cok Thai. It might not sound like a big thing to you but over here in Istanbul non Turkish food is hard to find. Needless to say a few of us were rather excited to get our chops around some Thai food. In fact I was dreaming of Thai red curry for about 3 days prior to Saturday night's outing.

So off we went with our organised group of friends from all over the world. We had Brits, Americans, A French girl, A Syrian girl, a Kurd, a Brazilian and several Turks with us. The restaurant was beautifully decorated and the food was nice. Well actually it wasn't a patch on the Thai food you get in the UK but it was still good. However nothing had prepared us for our Turkish friend's reaction to Thai food, it was comical to say the least. They were not impressed one little bit and spent most of the night letting us know that Thai food isn't anything compared to Turkish food. Now don't get me wrong I love Turkish food but after Pakistani food south east Asian is my fave nibble and growing up in the Uk with it's vast array of foreign restaurants has trained my taste buds to be diverse and open minded.

I guess the lesson for me is that when I celebrate my birthday I better pick a Turkish restaurant or there may actually be a riot on my hands. Regardless of the malay over the food it was a good night and it is so important when you are away from home to celebrate one's birthday. It takes the edge off the homesickness a little. So here's to cok chok Thai. Oh and an added bonus I did manage to find out from the waiter where I could find Thai ingredients and the ever elusive Kish nish - Corriander...yaaaaaah now just to figure out where this address is lol

you can kinda see everyone lol

me and the bday girl xxx

Hey did you miss me?

So, it seems that I have been very neglectful of late. I have completely ignored my blog and my dear readers. Well I do kind of have a good excuse. I have been living and teaching in Istanbul for the last two months. This city has a habit of eating up your time and you just don't seem to get a minute to yourself. I hope that you can forgive me and to make it up to you I will be keeping you all updated with my adventures from now on. 

So what do I think of Istanbul so far? Well this is one crazy, mad busy city. I thought living in London was hectic, well I tell you now, you haven't seen anything....come to Istanbul then tell me that London is crazy. I swear this city never sleeps, it doesn't matter what time of night it is people are always around, the shops stay open until the early hours and rush hour traffic lasts all day and night. The city is one big, living, breathing organism, it is a place where time never stops. 

So far I have really enjoyed my time here. I feel like Turkey has embraced who I am and sometimes I feel that Turkey is a mirror of who I am, a little bit of East and a little bit of West. I actually feel at home here - apart from the fact that I am constantly acting like a mime artist as I can only speak a few words of badly pronounced Turkish. However I am getting there slowly and Inshallah one day may even be able to speak the lingo. Sometimes being of Pakistani origin can be a problem as most western countries view us as terrorist or Islamic militants and the constant references to Osama Bin Laden have gotten a little old, but Turkey is a country that opens it's arms to Pakistanis...as many people have said our countries are brothers ( I have always found it strange that some countries are seen as feminine and some as masculine - who decides this lol) Being here I feel at home and welcomed, as if my religion and my culture is not only accepted but loved. It makes up for always getting lost and struggling to communicate lol.

I have been fortunate to have met some amazing people and seen a lot of Istanbul's gems, however there is so much more to see. Knowing that I have only touched the tip of the iceberg of Istanbul and its beauties is a comforting thought. Knowing that I have so many adventures yet to have makes me excited and brightens up my days. 

I am not going to lie, on some days the homesickness really creeps in, like those horrible nightmares that keep you awake at night, I miss my friends and family so much and even miss the rain and miserable faces on the tube, but I console myself with the fact that I am having an adventure I am experiencing something new and that Love can carry itself across Oceans, I know that I have not been forgotten and that many people are out there routing for me to have a great time.

So on that note tonight my readers I am going to love you and leave you, but before I go I will post you up some Iphone pictures that I have taken of Istanbul for your delight and I will be back real soon with tales of my Turkish delights.

Goodnight and sweet dreams

The sea at Bekistas

Sunny day in Florya

Istanbul's traffic

Kadikoy

chilling in Izmit

Me and Hailie in Bekistas

Kadikoy- The tower in the sea